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Let me start by saying, I did not know this sweet lady, however she was my beginning.

The day of Emily’s accident, my husband was the first deputy on the scene. The news about the events that had taken place hit me hard. The thought of knowing that this poor woman was me. Thinking, is this as good as it’s ever going to get? Am I trapped with this emotional anguish forever? This is the stuff that goes through our minds 24/7. Trapped not knowing what to do, thinking why can’t I snap out of this?

I have struggled with depression for 20 years, always just getting by with whatever meds worked for me that year. It is hard to try to find the right pill for you and it’s harder thinking that I have to take a pill just to make it through the day. And certain events in your life can add to these circumstances. The not wanting to leave the house or be around people, insomnia, lack of energy – it’s horrible. And so many people do not understand it at all. They try to sympathize, but they really can’t! It is so hard to explain to people why you are this way, and that is why so many of us do not tell anyone. We put on the happy face in front of people, however we are dying inside. And the ability to get into a psychiatrist is impossible, months out, when we need the help now!

That next morning I told my husband that I’m not all right, that I need help! After many appointments I finally found help in a hormone therapist. After being tested I was low on many hormones, a lack of which can cause many of my symptoms. So along with my anti-depressants and those hormones, things are starting to get better. But I will say it is baby step! I myself am a mother to 5.

My heart breaks for Emily and her family. I feel Emily was my wake up call. I truly love this woman that I have never met.

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