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"Show me how big your brave is."

-- Sara Bareilles

"Sharing my story and reading other women’s letters of light has helped me to feel connected and not so alone in my journey to find peace with the past and feel hope for the future. At times life seems overwhelming and lonely, but with every story I am uplifted and empowered to make it through the darkness and help others along the away."

-- Melissa …a “Letter of Light” sharer


Videos of Light

Visit our YouTube channel to watch the incredible stories of courageous moms who've chosen to record and share their stories with the world.


Letters of Light

  • kami
    Kami

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. After my second child was born, I experienced postpartum depression. Everything fromthe labor and delivery to going home […]

  • IMG_6306
    Marie

    I had my first baby while my husband was in dental school. We had no family support nearby, and I found myself crying often after he was born. Where was the joy I was expecting? I didn’t anticipate motherhood would feel like this. I often couldn’t leave my house because my anxiety was so bad, […]

  • jasmine
    Jasmine

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My name is Jasmine, and I have a one-year-old son named Oliver. Growing up, I alwaysloved kids. I […]

  • Julia
    Julia

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My postpartum depression started basically as soon as I got pregnant. I had wanted children my entire life, […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    It’s hard to share my story, but I wanted to just say how grateful I am for Emily’s familyand their bravery in sharing her story. I suffered a psychotic break in 2019, and it was aslow climb back out. I experienced so much shame when I first got out of the hospital, and many around […]

  • lydia
    Lydia

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Postpartum Psychosis only impacts a small percentage of moms, so it isn’t always verywell understood. One of the scary symptoms […]

  • Lorene
    Lorene

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I was born in 1954, and from the time I had my first menstrual cycle at the age […]

  • Lyndsay
    Lyndsay

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Throughout my young adulthood and childhood, I witnessed other people struggling with depression and anxiety. I had never […]

  • kylee
    Kylee

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I was diagnosed with severe post-partum depression about 4 months after my second daughter was born. With a […]

  • Brooke
    Brooke

    Nine years ago, I had a high-risk pregnancy with our second son. This meant being in and out of the hospital and regularly seeing specialists to try and prevent pre-term labor. Fortunately, I delivered a healthy, beautiful, full-term boy. But, I quickly realized something wasn’t right – with me. Physically, I was recovering, but mentally, […]

  • kendra
    Kendra

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. In February 2001, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression after my second child was born. She was two […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    She was a wonderful wife and mother–talented, giving, fun, and a great partner. However, with the birth of her 4th child, she experienced emotional trauma, even though the birth was physically normal. Afterward, her personality changed. She was constantly feeling overwhelmed with life, no matter how much support she had. The fortitude to hold it […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I have dealt with anxiety and bipolar depression basically my whole life, but I didn’t find out what it was until I was 25. With my first son, I was depressed almost the entire pregnancy. My husband wasn’t supportive at all–he would belittle me and make me feel like I was crazy. He was also […]

  • Anonymous
    Liz

    Anxiety and depression have been constant companions throughout my life. It seemed like I always had to fight a little harder than others, but I had developed excellent coping mechanisms after years of struggle and had managed to lead a full and successful life. In the summer of 2017, after having 3 children in 3 […]

  • elizabeth
    Elizabeth

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I honestly didn’t even realize I was in such a dark place. I knew I felt horrible, but […]

  • amanda-3
    Amanda

    I was sitting on the floor next to my husband as we bathed our young child together, soaked through with bubbles and water from bath toys, physically and emotionally drained from being with my one-year-old all day. I turned to my husband and asked, “When you became a dad, did you feel like you lost […]

  • melissa
    Melissa

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. After the birth of my second child, I finally recognized the symptoms I had (and what I experienced […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Everything seemed perfect. I had a little girl and was pregnant with my second child. However, when I gave birth I immediately began having trouble. I was worried about everything, and I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to go anywhere; I couldn’t handle daily things that used to be easy. For example, I couldn’t have […]

  • kayla
    Kayla

    I tried so desperately to hold it together, day after day, and to wish away the feelings of guilt, failure, and emptiness. I stared at the miracle I had and wished so badly that I could stop feeling so horribly sad in the midst of my little one. I didn’t feel that overwhelming love that […]

  • amber
    Amber

    After my first child was born, I mostly felt good with being a new mom. I really didn’t know much about postpartum depression; it literally came out of nowhere. I don’t even remember how it happened or what caused it. It just happened. Breastfeeding wasn’t helping at all–I was resenting my newborn each and every […]

  • vanessa
    Vanessa

    I was watching the story about Eric and his family, and I began to cry. I thought about all the feelings and emotions I had been experiencing, and that is when it hit me that it was time to tell someone. After receiving an IUD after having my first daughter, I noticed my hormones were […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    After my child was born when I was 20, I had severe postpartum depression. I felt like I should have loved my baby more, and I didn’t feel like the mom I wanted to be. Additionally, I lost my job that I had worked so hard to get when I ran out of maternity leave. […]

  • lauren
    Lauren

    Before my first child was born, I was familiar with The Emily Effect foundation. After hearing about the foundation, I wanted to get it out there as much as I could. In 2016, I ran the St. George Marathon wearing an Emily Effect jersey. I was able to share with others what the foundation is […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Almost 22 years ago, I experienced postpartum mania, which resulted in a neuropsychiatric hospitalization for 11 days. My resting heart rate was 185 beats per minute, I hadn’t slept more than an hour a night for almost a whole month, and without the rest and hospitalization, I could have died. If these experiences are the […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    My depression started while I was pregnant, but it went undiagnosed. I told myself that it was just pregnancy hormones that made me feel weepy, disappointed, and unsure. During the pregnancy, I planned for a natural birth. Instead, I was induced at 41 weeks and ended up with a C-Section. I felt like a failure; […]

  • janiza
    Janiza

    I had my first baby just over a year ago, and was concerned about postpartum depression because my mother had experienced it. Fortunately, my doctor was familiar with my mom’s history, so we discussed postpartum depression at my visits and he helped me get the information I needed to feel prepared before the baby was […]

  • malissa
    Malissa

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I had my first baby when I was only 19 and had been married for less than a […]

  • kylee
    Kylee

    After I had my second daughter, I developed severe postpartum depression. I was getting very little sleep at night, due not only to my newborn but to a toddler that didn’t sleep well. Additionally, I started getting massive headaches from the lack of sleep, which led to irritability and depression. I knew I needed help […]

  • jackie
    Jackie

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Upon learning I was pregnant, my husband and I were so excited. However, within a month our world […]

  • adrienne
    Adrienne

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I started on my journey of having children a little later in life, but we were thrilled when […]

  • randi
    Randi

    I suffered postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of both of my children. I have been trying to find the best way to help people understand what it feels like. I am still struggling to get better, but I know I am getting close to being me again. I can smile, laugh, do housework, […]

  • theresa
    Theresa

    My son was born a few months after my 18th birthday. I was instantly in love with my little man. I had my husband, my friends, and my family all close by. I was around people all the time, but after a few weeks I started feeling very alone. My self-image also suffered. I thought […]

  • karen
    Karen

    I wish I had known beforehand how hard parenting would be, and I wish someone else had given me permission to struggle. I was terrified of labor for months, but in all honesty, my main thought after getting an epidural was that it was totally doable. But, I was unprepared for how overwhelmed I was […]

  • Michelle

    Earlier this year, my husband suddenly and unexpectedly passed away due to health complications, leaving me a widow of 2 young boys and 6-months pregnant with our baby girl. Anyone in their right mind would say I had every right to fall into some sort of depression. Surprisingly, this is not when my story with […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    What an incredible gift to know we aren’t alone in our struggles and that help is out there. When I got pregnant with my first child, I started struggling with anxiety. After my son was born I was very anxious and needed help, but I was too embarrassed and thought I just wasn’t a good […]

  • julia
    Julia

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. If I could tell people two things I have learned the first would be that postpartum depression and […]

  • amy
    Amy

    When I heard Emily’s story, I sobbed uncontrollably. Anyone who has suffered from postpartum depression knows exactly what panic, anxiety, and hopelessness feel like. I knew I was supposed to love my kids, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to hurt my kids, but I just didn’t want to be around them. I felt like […]

  • carolyn
    Carolyn

    I remember the moment my sweet baby boy was placed in my arms for the first time. I had done this three times before, so I knew what a joy it was. However, this time I felt….different. I didn’t experience an overwhelming feeling of joy. I loved him, yes, but I felt off. Almost immediately, […]

  • jaimee
    Jaimee

    I am no stranger to postpartum depression. I just didn’t realize it until I recently came out of the fog of my most recent struggle. When I had my first daughter, I assumed my feelings of panic at taking her home were first-time mom jitters. I thought that the dark days of the first months […]

  • andrea
    Andrea

    When the doctors in the Emergency Room told me they needed to admit me to the psychiatric ward at the hospital, my first thought was “What is everyone going to think? I don’t want people to think that I’m crazy!” I was worried about how my friends and family would react. It was absolutely ridiculous, […]

  • marne
    Marné

    When my husband and I found out I was pregnant with our first child, I planned, read, and prepared not only for the baby, but for postpartum depression. I knew my genetics made postpartum depression likely, so I expected it. However, it took me by complete surprise by tricking me into thinking everything was okay. […]

  • abigail
    Abigail

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. As I sat in my hospital bed preparing to give birth, I realized I had mixed feelings about […]

  • amanda-2
    Amanda

    I have a history of PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), which includes low progesterone levels and an increased risk of miscarriage. In spite of my history of miscarriage, I was finally 9 weeks pregnant with no obvious problems. Then, the bleeding started. After going to the hospital, I was told the baby had died at 6 […]

  • kendra
    Kendra

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. At nearly 30 years old, I was finally blessed with the opportunity to become a mother, a dream […]

  • lara
    Lara

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I’ve had anxiety and depression my whole life, so I knew I was a likely candidate for postpartum […]

  • rachael-3
    Rachael

    When my first child was born, I immediately plummeted into postpartum depression. Depression and anxiety were things I had already been dealing with my entire life, so the fact I had postpartum depression was really not a surprise. I remember crying as I held my daughter, wondering if putting her up for adoption would make […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I was ashamed to acknowledge I needed help, and when I finally did, I was admitted to a mental hospital. In my experience, the medical field was not accommodating to the needs of someone suffering from postpartum depression. They didn’t really know what to do with me. They essentially labeled me as “crazy”, bringing more […]

  • amanda
    Amanda

    I am currently experiencing something I have never heard women really talk about. These feelings are hard to deal with, but with a little research I came across these Letters of Light that have made my loneliness and fear feel not so big. Knowing I am not going through this alone has lifted a weight […]

  • jessianne
    Jessiane

    With the birth of my third child, I experienced postpartum depression that lasted for 3 years. During this time, I felt so much shame and guilt, which only propelled me further into the depressive state. I felt shame for not being happy with my position in life. I was fortunate enough to stay at home […]

  • katie-2
    Katie

      Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Although I didn’t recognize it at the time, I experienced postpartum depression with my first child. There […]

  • ashley-2
    Ashley

    I suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of each of my two beautiful children. It is soul sucking. It gets in the way of your most important job, the one you have longed for and want to be perfect at. Being a mother while experiencing depression is one of the worst things I can […]

  • kimberly
    Kimberly

    When you feel that first kick inside of you, you think that you will feel an instant bond with your child. I did not. When you see that new little bundle of joy and hold her for the first time in your arms, you think you will feel instant joy and love. I did not. […]

  • diedra
    Diedra

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. During my pregnancy, I found out a very close family member had died. Within a week, I went […]

  • christina
    Christina

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I had never heard of postpartum depression before I experienced it. During my pregnancy, I was constantly warned […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I recently had my second child. Both of my deliveries were very traumatic, but I think this second experience with trauma triggered something. I have not been myself and am suffering with postpartum depression and anxiety. I get panic attacks at night, and in the morning I cry as I feel like I can’t even […]

  • kellie
    Kellie

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My first experience with postpartum depression started with the birth of my daughter. I was so excited to […]

  • randie
    Randie

    My son was born with fluid in his lungs, a cracked collarbone, and a congenital cataract in his left eye. He was admitted to the NICU while I left the hospital, and being discharged and going home with an empty car seat was the hardest thing ever. It was then that I started to notice […]

  • wendi
    Wendi

    My daughter was born at 37 weeks, and I wanted so badly to have a natural birth. We did everything that most parents-to-be do, including creating a birth plan and taking multiple classes. However, in spite of my hope for a natural birth, due to preeclampsia I was attached to countless amounts of wires, tubing, […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Two years ago, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. It was something I had dreamt about for years. My husband and I decided to finish school before starting to have kids, but that didn’t lessen my desire. I wanted kids badly. Once we started trying, I got pregnant right away. I was […]

  • megan
    Megan

    There is always light, whether we see it or not. I first began experiencing postpartum depression 14 years ago with my first baby girl. I had a difficult time transitioning from teaching elementary school to staying home full time taking care of a newborn. I was able to manage this difficult transition by going to […]

  • lindsay-2
    Lindsay

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Looking back on my experience with postpartum depression, I had no idea it was even occurring when I […]

  • erin
    Erin

    I first experienced symptoms of depression after graduating high school, at which point I started medication and therapy. Little did I know what the road ahead would entail for my life, including the lives of my future family. After marrying, I soon began a family and gave birth to a baby boy. Shortly after taking […]

  • angela-2
    Angela

    I had my first child shortly after I turned 23. I was going to be a single mom, and I spent my pregnancy preparing for all the challenges and sacrifices that were to follow. What I wasn’t prepared for was how I felt immediately following coming home with my daughter. I was experiencing new feelings […]

  • molly
    Molly

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Have you ever had a really vivid dream where you pondered your dream long after you woke up? […]

  • robin
    Robin

    All I ever wanted to be was a mom, so when I found out that it was very likely that I would never have my own child, I started getting panic attacks. I sought help from a therapist and went on herbal supplements. The next year was challenging, and included a difficult surgery, failed IVF, […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    When I had my daughter 10 years ago, I knew there was a possibility I could experience postpartum depression or anxiety, but I didn’t believe it was likely to happen to me. However, my pregnancy and delivery were not normal or pleasant, and the weeks following my emergency C-Section were terrible. I was so sick […]

  • lesa
    Lesa

    This is about my daughter, who gave birth at the age of 19. She was excited about going to college to study business and was a very good artist. After the baby was born, it all changed. My daughter didn’t want to bond with the baby, she was always crying or sleeping, and she wanted […]

  • ashley
    Ashley

    Winter in Utah is hard, but it was even harder after I had my second child and felt trapped indoors with a newborn and a toddler. My second baby and I had a rough start. She was colicky and had reflux; she cried all the time and didn’t sleep well. Additionally, my toddler didn’t talk […]

  • nikki-2
    Nikki

    One of the most gut-wrenching times of my life is when I was a 20-year old new mother. My son was born after 28 hours of no epidural, pain relief, or drugs of any kind (not because I didn’t want them, but they simply did not work). I had to deal with the pain on […]

  • sheri
    Sheri

    Sixteen years ago, I was expecting my fourth child and suffering from morning sickness. Although morning sickness wasn’t a new thing for me during pregnancy, this round seemed more intense. Eventually, I was hospitalized for a short time in an effort to rehydrate my body because of the intensity of the morning sickness. Shortly after, […]

  • nikki
    Nikki

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Growing up, being a mother was always my dream. For years, I always had my baby dolls everywhere […]

  • angela
    Angela

    The darkness lingers, and I realize I feel hopeless–that is why I can’t see the sun. My son was physically with me, but my mind left the minute he was born. I felt no connection to this little miracle. I wanted him to go away. In fact, I felt like he had ruined my life. […]

  • tammy
    Tammy

    When I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter, I was in an intense car accident. I struggled from the effects of PTSD and a traumatic brain injury, which included speech difficulty, frequent migraines, short term memory loss, depression, anxiety, nightmares, and intense, constant back pain. I cried throughout the whole pregnancy. My little girls (2 […]

  • rachel
    Rachel

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Postpartum depression is a thief of so many wonderful things about a new baby–the coos, snuggles, and that […]

  • auvie
    Auvie

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. When my second son was born via c-section at 37 weeks, I saw him and knew something was […]

  • lindsay
    Lindsay

    Postpartum depression is a real thing. I didn’t realize until my third child that I had experienced it with each of my kids. Until recently, the only thing I really knew about postpartum depression was that some people had thoughts about harming their babies. Because I hadn’t experienced those thoughts, I assumed incorrectly that I […]

  • kiley
    Kiley

    I am 30 years old with two young boys, and I have suffered from anxiety and mild depression since I was 15. When I first got pregnant with my son, I experienced depression and anxiety before he was even born. I had horrible thoughts about my unborn child, but then I would cry and cry […]

  • candice
    Candice

      For as long as I can remember, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a stay-at-home mother with a lot of children. Of course I was ecstatic to find out we were expecting our first child, a girl, and daydreamed about hobbies I’d get to share with her. When I was […]

  • katie
    Katie

    I have four beautiful children and an amazing husband. We have good jobs, cars that run well, families that love and support us, a home in a beautiful neighborhood, and every blessing I could ever imagine. So how, when you’re handed everything that would make a “normal” person happy, can you dread every single day […]

  • lisa
    Lisa

    I fought postpartum depression after the birth of each of my four children, but after my daughter Clara was born in 2013, I nearly didn’t make it back to life and health. Clara’s birth was a high-stress emergency C-section with multiple complications. My husband feared he would lose us both. Luckily, we both survived, and […]

  • marci
    Marci

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I have lived my whole life with depression and anxiety, but it was always manageable with the help […]

  • shayla
    Shayla

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My story starts 6 years ago. My sweet little girl was 18 months old and things up to […]

  • mandy
    Mandy

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. As I read about The Emily Effect and about Emily’s personal struggle, I got a pit in my […]

  • jessica
    Jessica

    Looking back, I’ve probably had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) since I was 13 years old. It was mild and manageable when I was younger, so I was never diagnosed. However, as I got older, it worsened. I washed my hands too much—maybe 3 times before they felt clean. Also, I checked the stove 4 times […]

  • maleah
    Maleah

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. A Poem for Letters of Light Porcelain women, carrying the burden of humanity. When we crack under the […]

  • cami
    Cami

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My husband and I had tried for over six years before we were finally blessed with a pregnancy. […]

  • maria
    Maria

    I had postpartum anxiety about 5 weeks after my first baby was born. I had butterflies in my stomach all the time that made me feel sick, and my throat was so constricted I almost couldn’t swallow. My heart would race, my palms would be sticky, and I couldn’t sleep. Rooms seemed to be spinning, […]

  • natalie-2
    Natalie

    At the age of 18 I suffered my first major panic attack. Before that I had never even felt butterflies in my stomach. I was carefree, easygoing, and never worried, but that all changed very quickly when I faced a 4 month struggle of intense fear, pain, and suffering. Fortunately, I was able to pull […]

  • debbie
    Debbie

    As I review my life, it is evident that I suffered depression from a young age. After my third daughter was born, I could witness on my children’s faces what my anxiety and depression was doing to them. You don’t have to be abusive to make your children fear you. I look back at that […]

  • melanie
    Melanie

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. After I had my first 2 babies within 3 years, I wondered if postpartum depression was real. I […]

  • sara
    Sara

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My husband and I had recently moved for a new job, we had a new house, and we […]

  • betsy
    Betsy

    Postpartum depression, anxiety, and panic are REAL! There is also a difference between having the baby blues and experiencing anger, panic, confusion, desperation, and the hopelessness you may feel when you have postpartum depression and anxiety. After my second child was born, I had severe postpartum bleeding. I lost a huge amount of blood after […]

  • courtney
    Courtney

    Postpartum depression, like a lot of mental illness, is not well understood. It affects a large percentage of women who have been pregnant. It can affect first time mothers, fifth time mothers, those who don’t carry their baby to full-term, and sometimes it can even affect fathers. The important part is that it can affect […]

  • stephanie
    Stephanie

    Since I was little, I always wanted children. I began babysitting at age 11 and never stopped until I had my own children. In fact, my first child was only 3 months old when I became pregnant for the second time. During this pregnancy, my husband noticed my mood had changed. However, we just assumed […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    For the last several years, I have been in a fog that has increasingly thickened. Becoming a mother was difficult for me; I remember being angry at my son because he had taken away my independence. I prayed for guidance, but I was just so exhausted that it was difficult to see things clearly. I […]

  • bethany
    Bethany

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Two years ago, I moved from Florida to North Carolina only 6 weeks after my second child was […]

  • kirsten
    Kirsten

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I suffered from PTSD, depression, and anxiety due to trauma I experienced during my teenage years. After nearly […]

  • natalie
    Natalie

    I knew I was in trouble when in 2013 I felt completely drained and began feeling worse each day. Although this is a typical feeling for teachers at the end of a school year, I was beyond exhausted. Additionally, I had delivered a baby eight months earlier, and I knew my body was still recovering. […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    The night I gave birth to my son was pretty rocky. I had an allergic reaction to my epidural, my blood pressure dropped and I was given medicine that made my heart race, and the medical team had great difficulty delivering my son. Once my son was delivered, I noticed the medical team didn’t call […]

  • jenny
    Jenny

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. I followed Emily’s story closely through the news, and my heart went out to her and her family. […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    My story is a story of hindsight. My oldest child is 20 and the youngest is 17. These two sons of mine have brought me great joy, even in the midst of pain. There were times that I was sure I would never be good enough for them. The first time I felt this sense […]

  • tiffany
    Tiffany

    I experienced anxiety and postpartum depression with the birth of my fourth baby, which lasted about 9 months. I remember the ways I changed. Each morning I would try to get up and take care of everyone, but many times throughout the day I would start to cry. I would cry for about 10 minutes, […]

  • shianne
    Shianne

    I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Disease), borderline personality disorder, and PTSD related to childhood domestic violence. All I ever wanted to be was a mother, but the PCOS made it almost impossible. I had lost many pregnancies, all of which were in very early stages. I had just about given up hope. However, on my […]

  • chanda
    Chanda

    Much like Emily, I desperately wanted to complete our family. Due to some previous health issues, we were unsure if I could get pregnant again. After trying in early 2015, I got pregnant but lost the pregnancy very early. 4 short weeks later, I got pregnant again. This time around I was extremely worried that […]

  • aeron
    Aeron

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. For me, postpartum depression was instantaneous. The day I gave birth was the day something in me shifted. […]

  • adrianne
    Adrianne

    I was so looking forward to starting our family, and when we found out we were having a boy, I felt invincible–like nothing could go wrong. I had the delivery planned out in my mind and daydreamed about the moment when I’d be able to hold my perfect, healthy baby boy. But, my delivery did […]

  • shelby
    Shelby

    Growing up, postpartum depression was always very stigmatized in my mind. I heard family members say things like, “Really? Baby blues? Everyone struggles – you just have to get through it.” I grew up thinking that people who said they had postpartum depression just wanted attention. Fast-forward some time when my husband and I had […]

  • heather
    Heather

    I am thankful for depression and anxiety. Yes! I just said that, and here’s why: after Hallie was born I got severe postpartum depression. One day my friends took me for a walk and told me that someday I would be grateful for this trial. They also told me that maybe I had to experience […]

  • Anonymous
    Diana

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. My Experience with Postpartum Depression And the Lasting Effects After 30 Years I was married at 19 ½ years, […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. A few months after I had my third baby, I knew that something wasn’t right with me. The […]

  • amy-bw
    Amy

    In 2013 I gave birth to my first child at the age of 29. I had a normal and happy pregnancy with no complications. I was so excited to be a mom; it was what I had always wanted, which is why I never expected to have postpartum depression. It didn’t take long after coming […]

  • mikell
    Mikell

    My name is Mikell. I suffer from postpartum depression (PPD) and seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It took me a long time and 2 children to find out what was wrong with me and now, after 4 children, I am still trying to figure out how best to help myself in this battle. My husband and […]

  • jessica-bw
    Jessica

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. To all those that suffer with depression, anxiety, or any mental illness, I want you to know you […]

  • kimberly-bw
    Kimberly

    I was 21 weeks pregnant with my second baby girl when I was told that she could potentially have a life threatening disorder. My world turned upside down in that moment. On June 15, 2015, my baby girl was born – happy and healthy. Unfortunately, I was not. The night of her birth, I was […]

  • dani-bw
    Dani

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. Brave….I have learned a lot about that word and that feeling becoming a mother. Although I am brave […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I have looked forward to having kids for as long as I can remember. My childhood ambition was to be the ‘world’s best mom’ and to have a dozen children. Naturally, as I matured, I formed more realistic goals regarding my future family and was beyond overjoyed when my daughter arrived. I had no problem […]

  • Anonymous
    Lynn

    I have four wonderful children. I experienced postpartum depression after the birth of my daughter (second child) and my youngest son (fourth child). Each time it lasted about nine months. After my daughter’s arrival, I felt like a shell of a person. I cried a lot. I will never forget the day that I walked […]

  • launeebw
    Launee

    I am a mom, first and foremost, of four amazing children, ages 15, 11, 8, and 7. With the birth of my first child I was so excited because I had gone to college, had our first home and I was more than ready to be a mom! I got home from the hospital and […]

  • rachaelbw
    Rachael

    At my six-week checkup after the birth of my fifth child, the soft-voiced midwife asked how I was doing. Tears welled up in my eyes and poured down my cheeks. I couldn’t even begin to frame an answer to her question. How could I possibly convey the depth of agony and darkness I faced each […]

  • whitney
    Whitney

    The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to be was a mom. I was blessed with that five times in less than eight years. When I had my fifth child, I was ready for the challenge and couldn’t have been more excited for our perfect new addition. I thought I knew exactly what to expect, […]

  • stacy
    Stacy

    Let me start by saying, I did not know this sweet lady, however she was my beginning. The day of Emily’s accident, my husband was the first deputy on the scene. The news about the events that had taken place hit me hard. The thought of knowing that this poor woman was me. Thinking, is […]

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    After I had my second child I was not myself. I was sad, angry, anxious, and hopeless. I had a 2-year-old and a newborn. My newborn cried. A lot. I cried. I would get so frustrated that I started yelling. About everything. Before I knew it yelling was my new normal. This lasted for years. […]

  • Charissebw
    Charisse

    I knew something was wrong the minute I didn’t hear my baby cry. He was purple and not breathing well. My doctor assured me he was fine, but the NICU team was silent and from the looks they were giving each other I knew that things were getting worse. I asked my husband, Travis (Trav) […]

  • tonyabw
    Tonya

    Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised. After I had my first two kids, I had postpartum depression for 6 months. I never sought treatment […]

  • Ramonabw
    Ramona

    Beautiful soul reading this, let me say one thing first of all; This will pass. You will not feel like a stranger in your own life forever. You will not feel your hands shake and your mind race by the smallest of upsets for the rest of your life. You will not feel anger at […]

  • Melissabw
    Melissa

    I thought that I had endured what would be worst phase of my life watching my Dad suffer for almost 3 years from Lou Gehrig’s. I had many ups and downs watching him struggle and the heartache I felt after losing him, I thought it was the worst I would ever feel. Fast forward to […]

  • Ashlee Henriebw
    Ashlee

    It has been nearly seven years since I have delivered a baby. I still remember the love and joy each one of my four children brought the day they were born. I never could have imagined the intense love I would have for each of my children. But along with that love came a deep […]