I recently had my second child. Both of my deliveries were very traumatic, but I think this second experience with trauma triggered something. I have not been myself and am suffering with postpartum depression and anxiety. I get panic attacks at night, and in the morning I cry as I feel like I can’t even face the day. Additionally, I find myself zoning out and becoming numb to what is going on around me. I feel resentment towards my new baby and miss the life I had before he came. It’s an awful feeling.
I had hoped and waited for 5 years to become pregnant with my second child, and during that time I had mourned the possibility of not having another child. Now, after beating all the odds and having another baby, I can’t enjoy it. Time goes so fast, and I don’t want any regrets. I want to be able to enjoy my son.
I feel so alone. Women need to talk more about this horrible sickness and be there to support each other. It’s very real and very scary. The story of Emily has opened my eyes to realize I need more help beyond medication.