There is always light, whether we see it or not. I first began experiencing postpartum depression 14 years ago with my first baby girl. I had a difficult time transitioning from teaching elementary school to staying home full time taking care of a newborn. I was able to manage this difficult transition by going to counseling.

My next pregnancy was with twins, and postpartum depression hit when they turned six months old. Again, I sought counseling, and again it was better. When I had my fourth baby, I began using a light box for SAD (seasonal affective disorder), and I had no postpartum depression. Now, my fifth baby is two years old and I have begun having postpartum depression again. It stinks. It’s hard. I completely know how people suffering from this illness feel.

The thing that blesses my life with light the most is looking for small, tender mercies–packets of light if you will. For instance, I find joy in a text from a friend, my favorite ice cream going on sale, a religious insight that provides exactly what I need. The light is always there, and it’s amazingly beautiful.