Disclaimer: The following article mentions the topic of suicide or other sensitive subjects, which may trigger negative thoughts and feelings for those currently suffering or still recovering from a mental or mood disorder. Reader discretion is advised.

After my second child was born, I experienced postpartum depression. Everything from
the labor and delivery to going home from the hospital was an absolute whirlwind! I
didn’t have much help once I was home, and although it was convenient that my
husband was a farmer who could choose his own hours, I still didn’t have enough
support or help.

Some days when my husband came home from work, I would be crying or yelling over
small things. Feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and lost, I reached out to my mom, but
she thought I was overreacting. Because my own mother didn’t believe me, I decided I
couldn’t tell anyone else.

One day while cleaning my house, I came across a razor blade. I was alone at the time,
and for an instant, I thought how nice a quiet hospital stay would be and thought about
slitting my wrists. However, I couldn’t remember which way to slice (I didn’t want to die, I
just wanted a break!), so I didn’t do it.

Although I was still afraid to tell anyone, I was able to use the concept of self-care to
heal. One day while watching Oprah on television, she suggested to keep a gratitude
journal and find 5 things every day to be thankful for. This is what gave me my life back.

When my third baby came along, I was so scared because I knew how hard it was to
have postpartum depression. Surprisingly, my entire experience was so much better. I
could not have been more relieved.

I will be forever grateful for those people in my life who cared enough to help where and
when they saw I needed it. It’s okay to ask/need help, even if the most trusted people in
your circle don’t believe you. Someone will believe you–keep asking for help! Having
postpartum depression isn’t something we can control and shouldn’t be something we
are afraid to admit we are dealing with.