When I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter, I was in an intense car accident. I struggled from the effects of PTSD and a traumatic brain injury, which included speech difficulty, frequent migraines, short term memory loss, depression, anxiety, nightmares, and intense, constant back pain. I cried throughout the whole pregnancy. My little girls (2 and 3 years old at the time) would come and ask me, “Mommy, why are you crying?” I didn’t know.
Then my daughter was born and I thought everything would be better without the extra challenges that come with pregnancy. I was wrong. After I gave birth, I worsened. I would have daydreams of driving myself into a local reservoir I passed frequently. I would have thoughts that my family would be better off without me. The only thing that prevented me from driving into the reservoir was that my babies were in the car and I couldn’t bear to do that to them.
My doctor put me on anti-depressants and I became enraged. I was aggressive and angry, so I tried a different medication. The next one made me feel high all the time. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t function. On top of that, I still cried–all the time.
I decided to go a different route. I started changing how I ate and drank more water. I would pray and share my feelings with the Lord. I began to go on frequent walks. I read a lot of books and learned about nutritional support with herbs, homeopathy, and energy psychology or energy medicine. I worked hard. I carried on.
Life did eventually get better. Now I have 8 beautiful children from age 17 to 1. I have experienced postpartum depression 3 times. I pray for all moms, but especially women (and their families) who are struggling with this. Unless you have gone through it yourself, you really could never completely understand the feelings of complete hopelessness and helplessness.
My message today is one of true hope and healing that comes through Jesus Christ. He has felt all you are feeling. He does understand. Turn your burdens over to the Lord. He will give you rest. Knowing Him has brought me to alternative tools that have greatly blessed my life. Here are just a few tools for other moms who may read this and be open to something “different.” Find a trusted energy practitioner who is Christ-centered. Get a massage or a foot zone. Allow time and space for you to fill up your cup. Write down all the negative feelings you are feeling on a piece of paper and burn the paper. Then write all the blessings you have in your life and FEEL gratitude for them as you go. There is hope and healing.